A man was getting a haircut prior to a
trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber, who responded, "Why
would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty and full of
Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"TWA!" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their
planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always
late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."
"That dump! That's the worst hotel in Rome. The rooms are small, the
service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get
there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look like the size of an ant. Boy, good luck
on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it!"
A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The
barber asked him about his trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained
the man, "Not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes,
but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food
and wine were wonderful and I had a beautiful 28-year-old stewardess
who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel! Well, it was great!
They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the
finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they
apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a
Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes
to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his
private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough,
five minutes later, the pope walked in. He spoke a few words to me."
"What'd he say?" asked the barber.
He said, "Where'd you get the lousy haircut?"
