Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell you something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank goodness," says an elderly nun at the back. "I am so tired of Chardonnay."
"The other day I saw a guy with a sign that said, WHERE WILL YOU SPEND ETERNITY? Which freaked me out because I was on my way to the Department of Motor Vehicles."
--Arj Barker