Aries: Dear God, please give me patience... and could you do it right now?

Taurus: Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.

Gemini: Dear God, Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?

Cancer: Dear God!!!

Leo: Yes?

Virgo: Dear God,, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like you did the last time.

Libra: Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?

Scorpio: Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the bastards don't deserve it!

Sagittarius: Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.

Capricorn: Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!

Aquarius: Dear God, I know I like change but this chaos is ridiculous!!!

Pisces: Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.