Taoism: Shit happens.
Conficianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Shintoism: Sushi happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Scientology: This shit happened before, but we can clean it up if you pay us enough.
Feminism: This shit happened before, and WE won't clean it up!
Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Bahai: Shit happens universally.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Lutheranism: Have faith that shit will happen.
Catholocism: Shit happens because YOU are BAD.
Sunni Islam: If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will and you'd better submit!
Shi'ite Islam: WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIT!
Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, Rama Rama.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to US?
Reform Judaism: Shit happens to whom it may concern.
Conservative Judaism: Why does shit happen?
Lubavitcher Hassidism: Blessed are they upon whom He sends His most holy Shit to happen.
Orthodox Judaism: So shit happens, already!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.
Mithraism: Bull shit happens.
Agnosticism: How can we know if shit happens?
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