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10. The Last Supper would have been a brunch.
9. The beatitudes would start, "Fabulous are they...."
8. The Triumphal Entry screams for a drag number.
7. The water at the wedding feast of Canaan would not have been changed to wine, but to extra dry Bombay Sapphire martinis with a touch of Curacao for color.
6. The temple would not have been cleansed of money changers, just redecorated.
5. Mary's hair would have been flawless.
4. The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce.
3. Priests would have affairs with alter boys.......wait, never mind.
2. Jesus would never wear white after Labor Day.
1. The Sermon on the Mount would have been a musical.
Some More:
There would be far more Saint Mary's in the Roman Catholic canon
The feast of the circumcision would still be a Holy Day of Obligation
The cross would have been made from distressed pine with limed oak finials
The 12 would still have been fishermen, especially for the feeling of fishnet against their skin
When Jesus went to Mount Sinai, they would all have asked what was so special about this guy Sinai
The Sermon on the Mount would have...well...you get the idea.
The beards would have been replaced by goatees and cropped hair
Instead of bread and wine, we would now celebrate Communion with foccacia and Evian
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