Three men were standing in line to get
into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though,
so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to
full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had
particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has
been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her
red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell
something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where
this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the
balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing,
25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating
on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off.
So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting
hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long,
so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the
bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into
the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it
landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got
to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony." "That
sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man came up and Peter explains to him about heaven being
full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day," he
replies. "You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building,
and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this
morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge.
But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor
below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this
man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he
started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until
he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on
my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into
the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was
going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and
crushes me instantly, and now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to
concede that it sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole
process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked
for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked
inside a refrigerator..."